


Try

by KidcalledAiden



Category: Hermitcraft RPF
Genre: Angst, Gen, mention of depression, mention of self harm, mention of suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-06
Updated: 2020-12-06
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:53:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27922567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KidcalledAiden/pseuds/KidcalledAiden
Summary: Beef loves helping people. Maybe sometimes he's the one who needs help
Relationships: None
Kudos: 23





	Try

Beef loved helping people. He didn't think he was too kind or too caring, he just couldn't see people suffer, always wanting help them get trough it, he wanted to make them feel the happiness he could experience.

But as time passed he often started feeling down. It wasn't always, sometimes he just couldn't keep up his usual cheery attitude, some unknown chain had kept him to the ground, away from his happy clouds. First he didn't think of it that much, like everyone had felt bad in their life, and he'll probably be trough it. And most of the time he was happy anyways.

Yet the more he helped, the more he started feeling distant and sad, sometimes empty. It felt like everytime he helped someone to feel better he just gave them a bit of his own happiness, and he started to run out of it.

As a kid his mother always told him that love is the only thing that grows if you share it. He felt like that was a lie. He gave his love, caring and patience to everyone in need, but he somehow never got it back.

And he started feeling more and more worn out, tired, emotionless. He remembered how he used to cry on movies, how he could emphasize with people, now there was only a little of that left in him.

But he didn't need help, he knew that. There were a ton of other people who needed that more than he did, he knew that many others are feeling much worse than he was, and he wanted to help those. 

Yet the days were getting more and more difficult, he started crying when he was on his own. It worked as a crappy coping system, sometimes after a hard day he went to his bedroom and cried before sleep. 

But he wasn't depressed. That wasn't the right word and he knew that didn't fit him. People with depression had it far worse than him and he should be ashamed of himself for even comparing himself to that. 

He always though that if you're depressed you do self-harm and want to kill yourself. He didn't feel like doing either of them, so he wasn't depressed. Of course he wasn't, again how dare he compare himself to that. That was far more serious than his little shitty problems and he should really care about helping those who really need it.

He'll be okay for now.


End file.
